Donkey Company, 2nd Battallion, 369th Frag Brigade

Jenny's Platoon is an elite group of soldiers contracted by the darkest parts of the government to ensure world safety... Ok well actually we're just some knuckleheads that play tactical shooters. We're currently playing Team Fortress 2 and Left 4 Dead 2.

Cpt. Jenny, C/O

• Status: She's Baaaaaaaaack
• Specialty: (Team)Kicking-Ass, Definately-Not-Demo
• Quote: "Akiiill... I don't like this world..."
• Finishing Move: Jenades
• Tours of Service: Doom 3, FarCry, Battlefront 2, UT2k4, R6:3, FEAR, GRAW/2, TF2, Crysis, L4D/2

Bio: It seems impossible to make it out of Officer Training with little knowledge of battlefield tactics. Well most officer candidates don't have boobs like Jenny. Her preferred tactic is to stare at her own breasts and hope the enemy goes away. Failing that, she will make the enemy fear her and her ability to use grenades against her own soldiers without remorse.

Lt. Probie

• Status: Active
• Specialty: Subtlety
• Quote: "What CAN you dedouche from that?"
• Finishing Move: FATALITY GOES HERE
• Tours of Service: GRAW, L4D/2, TF2, UT3, OFP2

Bio: On the battlefield, NCO's follow their unparalleled leadership skills with superb execution. But sometimes, you need to set up defenses in the wrong place. Sometimes, you need to be shot in the face while being swarmed by the enemy. Sometimes you just need a Jenny. We have spare ammunition, spare vehicles, alternate battle plans and now we have a spare Jenny. Just like the original, she commands little respect over the radio and is only functional within a 15 foot radius of Kung-Fu.

Lt. Panther

• Status: Active
• Specialty: Mammary Enthusiast
• Quote: "..."
• Finishing Move: Radio Silence
• Tours of Service: GRAW, TF2, L4D/2

Bio: The only thing worse than a bad decision is no decision at all. Even though officers try their hardest to thwart success, they occasionally fail and end up helping their team. But by remaining silent, Panther brings the Fog-of-War directly to her men. On the off chance she prefers to help, she prefers to set up automated defense systems, allowing her to exit the battlefield and leave her men to question her whereabouts.

Lt. Glorious

• Status: Semi-Active
• Specialty: Deadly Decoy
• Quote: QUOTE GOES HERE
• Finishing Move: Nerdicide
• Tours of Service: FEAR, TF2, L4D

Bio: Much like the C/O appointed above her, Gloria is best when kept away from navigational tasks. However, once in the middle of the action, she will hunt and destroy any geek, nerd, dork or goober she can find. Continuing JP's ruthless pursuit of perfection from enlistees, she will go to any lengths to ensure that her men are at the peak of their game. She will return captured intelligence to the enemy just because she didn't like how you captured it.

2nd LT FenFen

• Status: Active
• Specialty: L4D Erotica
• Quote: "On a scale of one to confused, i couldn't draw a straight line with a ruler"
• Finishing Move: Hunter on Hunter Action
• Tours of Service: TF2, L4D/2, FEAR

Bio: BIO GOES HERE

1st Sgt. Jiggy Fly, NCOIC

• Status: Active
• Specialty: Demolition
• Quote: QUOTE GOES HERE
• Finishing Move: Eagle Craw!
• Tours of Service: All of them.

Bio: By default, Jiggy remains the leader of the Platoon. He became the first man to decipher Jennese, the enigmatic dialect that had even NSA cryptologists baffled. Forming a link between Jenny and her soldiers, Mr. Jiggy Fly leads the charge into battle with his gluttonous attacks on enemies. With Jiggy on the battlefield, the next time you look skyward to the heavens, might be your last... Eagle Craw, BYAAH!!!

1st Sgt. Snake-Eyes, Can'tnadian

• Status: Active
• Specialty: Tech and Communications Chief, eh
• Quote: "Punch That Shit!"
• Finishing Move: FATALITY GOES HERE
• Tours of Service: CoH, L4D/2, R6:3/Vegas 2, TF2, GTR Evo, IL2, UT3, UT2k4

Bio: This fine young recruit was the first, and currently only, graduate of Jenny's Academy. Looking to maximize his potential as a clanboi pwnzorz, Snake-Eyes was left with no choice but to enroll. Passing all tactical exercises with flying colors Snake-Eyes has proven to be a sure shot in live exercises. His outstanding service to uphold the Jeneva Convention sets the precedent for those who follow.

Petty Officer 1st Class Dewey, Rage Artist

• Status: Active
• Specialty: Grenadier
• Quote: "Bitch."
• Finishing Move: Al-Nadeya
• Tours of Service: Battlefront 2, FarCry, FEAR, GRAW/2, TF2, L4D/2, UT3

Bio: After a long term of service in the Virtual Brig, Dewey has been transfered to active-duty alongside the rest of the Platoon. If there were ever a hail of grenades to be seen on the battleground, Dewey is sure to be the source. And with his special training in the Navy SEALs, Dewey can find hackers even when they're not hacking. This means YOU (anytime you shoot at him).

Everyone at JP thanks you for your service overseas.

Sgt. Taco, Yo Daddy

• Status: Active, Seasonal
• Specialty: Mech, Electronics
• Quote: "Fuck you Jake."
• Finishing Move: FATALITY GOES HERE
• Tours of Service: Far Cry, R6:3, FEAR, GRAW/2, TF2, L4D/2

Bio: Taco spearheaded the Platoon's mechanized program. Riding his tank into battle, he was captured and subjected to the harshest torture. As a result, Taco can now recite every line from any song recorded in the 80's and score perfectly on any trivia test involving the worst movies ever made. He now heads up the electronics duties and oversees the "electronic battlefield". Though slightly "off", Taco is JP's sharpest tactician.

Sgt. Philharmonik

• Status: Semi-Active
• Specialty: Highlight Reels
• Quote: QUOTE GOES HERE
• Finishing Move: "Yahtzee!"
• Tours of Service: GRAW/2, FEAR, TF2, L4D

Bio: Stealth is a preferred tactic in Jenny's Platoon. However, Mr. Harmonik prefers the mantra, "It ain't no fun if you can't hear it before you see it". Ever the showman, JP's techno afficionado is a walking battlefield highlight. The battlefield is normally a place where no one wants to go, but with Harmonik covering your back, it's a big ass party.

Everyone at JP thanks you for your service overseas.

SSgt. Darkstar

• Status: Active
• Specialty: (Not-)Tactics
• Quote: "Uh.. Guys?"
• Finishing Move: The Darkstar
• Tours of Service: L4D/2, TF2

Bio: Tacticians all over the world are in complete awe of Darkstar's complete grasp and subsequent disregard for all things tactical. He has been known to create such perfect scenarios that the only outcome is total and complete pwnage for the other team, only to start the attack 300 meters away from any other person on his team...all while maintaining complete radio silence....even though radio silence was not ordered. Subsequently, this tactic has been formally named "The Darkstar Maneuver."

Everyone at JP thanks you for your service overseas.

Sgt. Stretch, Scout

• Status: Active
• Specialty: 0-Drunk in 5.4 beers
• Quote: QUOTE GOES HERE
• Finishing Move: Jenny's Boot in Ass
• Tours of Service: FarCry, Battlefront 2, R6:3, GRAW, FEAR, TF2

Bio: Jenny's Platoon has adopted the Leave-Your-Ass-Behind policy. Stretch was sequestered, emasculated, neutered and eventually stripped of his own free will. None of us want to have anything to do with such unspeakable acts. So if you wander into the wrong territory, don't bother, we don't know you.

This old relic from the Civil War is rumored to be among the first guerrilla fighters on American soil. He's so old now that he has actually become a ghost, enabling him to sneak in right under your nose even in broad daylight. If it seems too quiet, and you're missing a six-pack, well Stretch is probably out to make your day a lot more complicated.

Cpl. Rhench

• Status: Active
• Specialty: Like, Skill
• Quote: "Oh right, the plan."
• Finishing Move: Lightning Bolt!
• Tours of Service: TF2, L4D2, CoH

Bio: After realizing that the only people capable of tolerating his unique brand of humor, arrogance and disdain for uncoordinated behavior had severe personality defects of their own, JP was a natural fit for Rhench. Here he can be assuaged by all manners of horrible jokes, get taken down a peg or two, and shake his head in frustration as no one listens to his brilliant tactics, even though he rarely bothers to tell people exactly what those tactics consist of, other than, 'Not what we did last time.' Rhench would sooner follow someone with a plan destined to fail than have no plan whatsoever, but makes up for this cognitive defect by no more than slightly above average at everything he does, thus keeping expectations from getting out of hand.

Reserves

Sgt. Skullhed, Pirate

• Status: Retired
• Specialty: Sniper
• Quote: QUOTE GOES HERE
• Finishing Move: Headshot!
• Tours of Service: Doom 3, UT2k4, R6:3, TF2

Bio: This founding member has now retired and serves in a reserve role. He designed the JP patch, and is responsible for the proliferation of donkey punching. In combat, Skullhed was our most sure-handed sharpshooter, logging the most headshots in Unreal, and owning the accuracy record in Raven Shield (bailing us out of many firefights). We do hope that he returns during our deployments to Mexico and North Korea.

Not much is known of the of this character. Ever the enigma shrouded in mystery and darkness, he arrived at port one day on a ship which carried no one but himself. And yet for some reason was practically painted with the blood of some poor bastards. He is a self-proclaimed pirate/assassin, and no one argues since usually once his enemies see him, their life has already been spilled about their feet.

2nd LT. Andi, Trainee

• Status: Inactive
• Specialty: SPECIALTY GOES HERE
• Quote: QUOTE GOES HERE
• Finishing Move: FATALITY GOES HERE
• Tours of Service: GRAW

Bio: Andi is fresh out of OCS and is detached from brigade HQ to learn the art of pwnage. Her first day on the job, she was initiated by taking a round from Jenny's M203 to the back of the head.

Spc. Beagle, Chaplain

• Status: Inactive
• Specialty: Combat Cameraman
• Quote: QUOTE GOES HERE
• Finishing Move: Death By Kindness
• Tours of Service: Far Cry, GRAW, FEAR, TF2

Bio: One of the Platoon's newest members, Beagle has quickly proven himself worthy of the patch on his BDU. Platoon morale will never drop with Beagle on the prowl. If you need a rifle to drop to an enemy, Beagle is your Huckleberry. He is suspected of fraternizing with 2Lt. Andi.

Cadet Strife

• Status: Inactive
• Specialty: Unconventional Warfare
• Quote: QUOTE GOES HERE
• Finishing Move: Apocalyptic Battle Cry
• Tours of Service: FEAR, R6: Vegas, TF2, L4D

Bio: Raised in the jungle by monkeys and irate Frenchmen, Strife is the antithesis of model cadet, Snake-Eyes. His advanced research has led him to pioneer the WTF Tactical Approach, allowing him eliminate enemies while they question his sanity. Capable of eliminating an entire terrorist cell while hanging upside-down on a rope, no testicle is safe from Strife's pistol. He wears his beret with pride and will protect the Jeneva Convention at all costs.